I was sitting having lunch with a couple of friends yesterday and the topic of "Love" and "God" came up within this conversation which went for about three hours.
These are people I really respect, genuinely like and think the world of. Alot of good intentions, positive energy and willingness to work through anything in order to be CONSTRUCTIVE. It's incredible to hear of some of the work they are planning to do and the very practical, pragmatic measures of utilising talent and resources in order to do so. Bleeding hearts and simpering overdone pretensions, I cannot deal with, but constructivity, even idealism harnessed with pragmatism is hugely commendable. Such a rare, rare combination.
It was interesting though, when I pointed out that their thoughts on Love was automatically linked to God on a subconscious, intrinsic level. I don't mean a Judeo-Christian "God", or any particular named "God" in a specific sense. I supposed then that this was an example as to how deeply entrenched what we've been exposed to, brought up with is within how we think, how we express ourselves and is reinforced by the people we surround ourselves by. This is considering I wasn't surprised by the responses and how similar they were, united by having grown up together, by the same religion, background, thus ideals and goals. Goals and Ideals, which I personally endorse, which are incredibly noble. But the question did arise, how much of what one believes is truly what one's own and not compounded or influenced by others? How much of what we think we are, what we like, what we think is truly an expression of self?
Some may answer that this is an impossible task to differentiate and that everything that we are has been and will be influenced, shaped and touched by others. Perhaps, the people who do so, are the ones that we selectively choose, based on what we already know, are comfortable with, or are willing to accomodate and consider within our foundations.
I've observed often before that to most people in society, the two main organising principles in people's lives are "Love" and "Religion". In a simplified sense, most people will have defined, structured and shaped their lives so that it becomes organised by either of these two 'principles' as I've dubbed them. Just looking at the concept of "Love" in our society and I venture to ask if this is the western concept of love that has evolved from one of mutual cooperation, stability, class-matching, physical and chronological age compatibility, etc...---> to an ideology of 'risk-taking', a sense of sinfulness, lust, excitement, mystery. One could say this was the "in love" phase, what then happens after? Is this why, when the airy fairy dust has settled and been swept away, relationships and marriages fail in this society, compounded by the sheer availability of people, of the relative ease of easily found physical comfort and intimacy, of the channels of constant available communication? How does one commit in the face of all these distractions?
I was listening to this the other day on my Ipod and I caught myself humming along and then I paused, literally in my tracks to listen to the lyrics.
It's a very catchy tune and it made me happy humming along. But I realised something about the lyrics. (LOL and yes, I have stooped to be one of those people who paste lyrics all over their blog. lol. ) I found that this apparently simple song, is actually very...simple. lol. but implicitly reinforces the concept of modern love as one of 'risk-taking' and fucking encourages it, 'gamble everything for love'...'and you'll be alright'? I think not. Ok, you'll be ok in the long run unless one really doesnt have the capacity to take the hit and move on from there and would wallow instead. There's this myth about : "Love", with the focus on romantic love, there's almost the Petrarchan take on it. Gamble, risk, lose EVERYTHING and it's going to be alright?
It's incredible how quite a few people take this literally, spending their turbulent pubescent years fantasizing, mooning over beautiful people, idolized, idealised, perhaps projected onto posters, magazines, hell , even porno. Going out with real people later, shedding some of these idealised, rose-tinted perceptions. There's this constant cycle of searching, finding, then disappointment and discontentment, discarding or being rejected. Then the cycle begins once more. I find many, many people define their lives in this manner. Career, goals, dreams, friends, family even sometimes secondary. Perhaps this is a massive generalisation, but basically my point is that I am appalled just how much this myth of what 'love' is has been so entrenched in how people behave and suffer as a result. It is a very voluntary and complicit deception.
--> Will continue with the other organising principle: "Religion", later.
Gamble Everything For Love LyricsArtist(Band):Ben Lee
Gamble everything for love, gamble everything
Gamble everything for love, gamble everything
Put it in a place you keep what you need
You can gamble everything for love if you’re free
You gotta gamble everything for love
Baby are ya cold, are ya cold baby
I could wrap you up, wrap you up in my love
If you wanna, you can gamble everything for love
If you wanna, you can gamble everything for love.
Tell me are you feeling lost, have you crossed
In the places that you never knew to get through
Tell me are you gonna cry all night
Tell me the truth, and I’ll tell you the truthIf you gamble everything for love
You gonna be alright, alright
Make a list of things you need, leave it empty
Except for number one, write “love”, gamble everything
Keep it under lock and keyIf you wanna, you can gamble everything for love
Love me with an open heart tell me anything
We can find a place to start to gamble everything
We can set this thing apart, cos we’re gonna, gonna
Gamble everything for loveTell me do you lose your way each day
Are there people you don’t recognise, do they lie?
Tell me does it make you feel too real?
Tell me the truth, and I’ll tell you the truth
If you gamble everything for love
You gonna be alright, alright
Oooh you can go your own way,
Oooh you can go your own way,Oooh you gotta go your own way
If you gamble everything for loveIf you gamble everything for love
Gamble everything for love, gamble everything
Put it in a place you keep what you need
You can gamble everything for love if you’re free
You gotta gamble everything for love
Tell me are you gettin’ hurt, is it worth it?
Tell me are the people strange, do they change?
Tell me are you letting go, do you know?
I’ll Tell you the truth, if you tell me the truth
If you gamble everything for loveIf you gamble everything for love
If you gamble everything for love
You gonna be alright, alrightAlright.
2 comments:
Great post, m377y!!!! So when're you posting your name up? ;)
I also analyse the lyrics of songs (LOL!). Ben Lee is often found wanting in such inquiries. First there was his song WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER, which unpersuasively argued (What is a song but a statement of emotional "logic"); "ask a scientist, it's quantum physics....We are all in this together", which totally misinterprets Quantum Physics. Harmless in comparison to the imploration in his "Gamble everything for love!".
Gamble EVERYTHING. Woooooow. Gamble your education, gamble your sanity, gamble your health. Quite a subersive idea, although practically, I can understand why it passed censorship, whereas fuck wasn't so fortunate. OK, Ben Lee is really wealthy and doesn't have that much to do, so perhaps he can afford to sacrifice everything for some ideal. People do the same thing for "God". Perhaps Lee doesn't care if he loses all of the above, or perhaps he isn't currently sane, so he can't lose his sanity. More likely, as you say, he just hasn't examined the concept of love very hard.
I think it's a peculiarity of language. The existence of "Love", like "God", is to many people, what you accurately termed "the sacred". Some people find it harder (emotionally, or cognitively), to make sense of life without such a concept. When lack of evidence or reflection refutes or challenges an element of "the sacred", the sacred retreats to lower ground. When reality forces people to re-examine their beliefs about love, "love" tends to undergo a paradigm shift, as people constantly re-define love as they age, rather than excise it from their lexicon. For a teenager, it is one of those irrational, reality-overpowering emotions and obsessions, a willful blindness, a deep illusion about another person that one is under. To somebody old, it probably means for them a feeling of comfort and companionship, a dedicated support structure, a human being that you can admire,respect,trust,complement, and somebody compatible. Depending on how much a person re-examines their idea of "love" and constantly re-defines it, will determine the frequency of times that they say they are in "love", and the importance that they place on "love" existing in their relationship(s). It'd be interesting to do a survey of people of different ages and chronicle how their ideas of 'love' have changed.
At the opposite extreme is matching based on compatibility alone...although this process is itself fraught with errors (and people sometimes grow apart)! I am taking this to be some englightened selection of an acceptably compatable marriage partner for your son/daughter, based on matching of personality,
hopes, flaws, intelligence, attractiveness, wealth/class etc. Or, more accurately, on the perceived closeness of the trajectory that the word "love" will assume for the two people for the intelligent matchmaker.
Like all such ideas involving a tension of misinterpretation, "love" has a dubious connection to reality, which is apprehended and interpreted by people with varying intelligence/skills, perspectives. More critical, I think, is the choice of how to modulate the everyday interactions between our rational and emotional brains. Fuck, that in itself I think determines so much about a person. when is the right time to convey the strength or type of your emotions, and hope that the other understands what you mean. The word, I think, is important. In Lee's case, the reflection of the feelings and how much in control of his emotions he is will also determine whether he will "be alright" if his love finds itself disappointed.
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