Disoriented

I keep seeing people as bundles of walking genes and energy producing cells these past two days.


It's highly disturbing for me.

Bit depressing as well.


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So much of what we are, in our capacity for beauty, health, intelligence is so dependent on what our genes have to offer, what selection of genes we have collected from what was ''available" at the time of the gene pooling/conception.


I am plagued by this thought that people's lives are pretty much determined from the time of conception through to birth and to death. Hah. It's paralleling (in reverse) that running belief that everyone's life is 'preordained/predetermined' according to some divine purpose. I argue on a different premise, but same outcome.

Yes, I realise how much environment and other factors have in terms of influence. But you cannot deny just how much genes make such a difference.

The often spouted phrases of roughly similar content: " Do your best. You can only do very best. Be the very best that you can be." -->incredibly limited. Self-defeating, self-deceiving, despite its original purpose to be encouraging, sustaining or confidence boosting.

NO! I feel otherwise! Yet, how can there be another way , it is true that a person can only seek to fulfill his full capacity (however aware or unaware he/she may be of this). If they do not have the capacity, healthwise, intellectual, emotional, social, financial capacity ---> what else can they do but try?

Choose our partners wisely?

There is that implicit warning and false confidence that 1) we have such a choice that anyone we 'choose' would accept us likewise. 2) That all the knowledge would be made available for such a choice to be made 3) Knowledge present would be sufficient for such appropriate wisdom?

What an illusion. What a joke.

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I have thoughts like this when someone says to me : " Good luck" or "Do your best" and I feel that twinge of self-mockery sometime when I myself wish such to others.

Good Luck??? Wtf is that?

Ok, I can accept that most general sayings are meant to fill in the 'gaps' that communication between people is susceptible to. Social sayings, 'niceties' meant to switch off the conversation, divert the topic or close it. Of 'trying' somewhat to the benefit of another person without really trying at all. It serves to comfort the person in question, ourselves, give false reassurance which perhaps could serve inturn as a placebo confidence booster. Hell, perhaps the person might even do well for it. I don't know.

Sure, we mean it at times, with absolute sincerity and genuinue concern. But we also realise (well I do anyways) the sheer impotence of such sayings. --> Unless the placebo confidence boostering effect worked. LOL!



Feeling very nihilistic.


I have to fight my own inner demons.