"Love" Part 1. I must say, I am not Immune.

I was sitting having lunch with a couple of friends yesterday and the topic of "Love" and "God" came up within this conversation which went for about three hours.

These are people I really respect, genuinely like and think the world of. Alot of good intentions, positive energy and willingness to work through anything in order to be CONSTRUCTIVE. It's incredible to hear of some of the work they are planning to do and the very practical, pragmatic measures of utilising talent and resources in order to do so. Bleeding hearts and simpering overdone pretensions, I cannot deal with, but constructivity, even idealism harnessed with pragmatism is hugely commendable. Such a rare, rare combination.

It was interesting though, when I pointed out that their thoughts on Love was automatically linked to God on a subconscious, intrinsic level. I don't mean a Judeo-Christian "God", or any particular named "God" in a specific sense. I supposed then that this was an example as to how deeply entrenched what we've been exposed to, brought up with is within how we think, how we express ourselves and is reinforced by the people we surround ourselves by. This is considering I wasn't surprised by the responses and how similar they were, united by having grown up together, by the same religion, background, thus ideals and goals. Goals and Ideals, which I personally endorse, which are incredibly noble. But the question did arise, how much of what one believes is truly what one's own and not compounded or influenced by others? How much of what we think we are, what we like, what we think is truly an expression of self?

Some may answer that this is an impossible task to differentiate and that everything that we are has been and will be influenced, shaped and touched by others. Perhaps, the people who do so, are the ones that we selectively choose, based on what we already know, are comfortable with, or are willing to accomodate and consider within our foundations.

I've observed often before that to most people in society, the two main organising principles in people's lives are "Love" and "Religion". In a simplified sense, most people will have defined, structured and shaped their lives so that it becomes organised by either of these two 'principles' as I've dubbed them. Just looking at the concept of "Love" in our society and I venture to ask if this is the western concept of love that has evolved from one of mutual cooperation, stability, class-matching, physical and chronological age compatibility, etc...---> to an ideology of 'risk-taking', a sense of sinfulness, lust, excitement, mystery. One could say this was the "in love" phase, what then happens after? Is this why, when the airy fairy dust has settled and been swept away, relationships and marriages fail in this society, compounded by the sheer availability of people, of the relative ease of easily found physical comfort and intimacy, of the channels of constant available communication? How does one commit in the face of all these distractions?

I was listening to this the other day on my Ipod and I caught myself humming along and then I paused, literally in my tracks to listen to the lyrics.

It's a very catchy tune and it made me happy humming along. But I realised something about the lyrics. (LOL and yes, I have stooped to be one of those people who paste lyrics all over their blog. lol. ) I found that this apparently simple song, is actually very...simple. lol. but implicitly reinforces the concept of modern love as one of 'risk-taking' and fucking encourages it, 'gamble everything for love'...'and you'll be alright'? I think not. Ok, you'll be ok in the long run unless one really doesnt have the capacity to take the hit and move on from there and would wallow instead. There's this myth about : "Love", with the focus on romantic love, there's almost the Petrarchan take on it. Gamble, risk, lose EVERYTHING and it's going to be alright?

It's incredible how quite a few people take this literally, spending their turbulent pubescent years fantasizing, mooning over beautiful people, idolized, idealised, perhaps projected onto posters, magazines, hell , even porno. Going out with real people later, shedding some of these idealised, rose-tinted perceptions. There's this constant cycle of searching, finding, then disappointment and discontentment, discarding or being rejected. Then the cycle begins once more. I find many, many people define their lives in this manner. Career, goals, dreams, friends, family even sometimes secondary. Perhaps this is a massive generalisation, but basically my point is that I am appalled just how much this myth of what 'love' is has been so entrenched in how people behave and suffer as a result. It is a very voluntary and complicit deception.

--> Will continue with the other organising principle: "Religion", later.

Gamble Everything For Love LyricsArtist(Band):Ben Lee

Gamble everything for love, gamble everything

Put it in a place you keep what you need

You can gamble everything for love if you’re free

You gotta gamble everything for love

Baby are ya cold, are ya cold baby

I could wrap you up, wrap you up in my love

If you wanna, you can gamble everything for love

If you wanna, you can gamble everything for love.

Tell me are you feeling lost, have you crossed

In the places that you never knew to get through

Tell me are you gonna cry all night

Tell me the truth, and I’ll tell you the truthIf you gamble everything for love

You gonna be alright, alright

Make a list of things you need, leave it empty

Except for number one, write “love”, gamble everything

Keep it under lock and keyIf you wanna, you can gamble everything for love

Love me with an open heart tell me anything

We can find a place to start to gamble everything

We can set this thing apart, cos we’re gonna, gonna

Gamble everything for loveTell me do you lose your way each day

Are there people you don’t recognise, do they lie?

Tell me does it make you feel too real?

Tell me the truth, and I’ll tell you the truth

If you gamble everything for love

You gonna be alright, alright

Oooh you can go your own way,

Oooh you can go your own way,Oooh you gotta go your own way

If you gamble everything for loveIf you gamble everything for love

Gamble everything for love, gamble everything

Put it in a place you keep what you need

You can gamble everything for love if you’re free

You gotta gamble everything for love

Tell me are you gettin’ hurt, is it worth it?

Tell me are the people strange, do they change?

Tell me are you letting go, do you know?

I’ll Tell you the truth, if you tell me the truth

If you gamble everything for loveIf you gamble everything for love

If you gamble everything for love

You gonna be alright, alrightAlright.

Unspoken

They looked at each other. She was deliberately and fixedly pleasant.

She was afraid of the intensity of her emotion, afraid it would spill over into the space between them and stain the fabric and knots of what they had.

She was afraid of the consequences. She was afraid, that he might reject her, cast her aside in sympathetic apathy, perhaps worse, that he might reciprocate, but not enough, not enough to even whet her appetite for him.

She understood then, how it felt for love to consume someone and for the lover to want, even need, to imbibe, ingest and savour the beloved.

Love was not blind, it only made clearer what there was to be loved. She was afraid of this disabling clarity, its insightfulness only made clearer to her of her own ineptitude and flaws. She was stricken and then blinder than she had been before.

She turned slightly away, her smile firm, yet brittle in its façade, a little cracked at the edges.

They lost eye contact and continued their conversation, so platonic and everyday that she was afraid that it might all have been a game that they had agreed to play and whose rules she did not know.

She was content with this though, to let lie for now, but only just. This scene of summer sun, sun chairs under opened umbrellas and brewed coffees, and the flower in the vase between them. It simmered with her uncertainty and what and how she felt, just under the surface, clenched tightly behind her cracked smile.